Alwayne Allen is my name (hence Double A, Eureka!)
I think alotta things, and I like to write them down and share.
Feel free to share too. Politics, Sports, People, Religion; you think it, at some point I'll write about it. I think I'm pretty funny, snarky, sarcastic, the works.
You know you like my blog already.
Cleary the first thing you would think of when you see the title would be the words of the Tarrus Riley song, although the title is actually "Getty Getty No Want Ee". I didn't even know I knew this song (ish), such is the power of music! Lemme drop in some of my favourite lines, a la Gordon Robinson style :D
Sometimes we see
And ringing in my head is what my mama tell meeee
Wanty wanty no getty and getty getty no wanty huh
Wanty wanty no getty and getty getty no wanty huh huh
Wanty wanty no getty and getty getty no wantyyyyy
Wanty wanty no getty and getty getty no wanty
Chuh! Just watch the video and listen the song yaaa man!
Now that we've gotten that out of our collective systems, I suppose I should tell you what this all about. Well, you see, once upon a time, there was this little boy named Bob. The end.
Can somebody tell me, why people stay suh? Seriously! Oh, I'm supposed to tell you how nuh.
You do something nice or thoughtful for somebody one time. ONE! And then what happens? They NEVER stop coming back. Unless of course you grow some large cojones an' jus run dem weh. Currently, I don't possess any large ones. But bwoy. That behavior from people makes you weary mayne... You get tired of it easily, nuh true? "True or False? Through!!!" (Big up Annette btw)
DISCLAIMER: This has nothing to do with any recent interaction with any of my current friends/associates/family. Zeen? Just making sure I put it out there before the imaginary consciences start biting and mi get cuss out an' a nuh yuh mi dida talk. Cool? Cool.
Soooo, there's a girl at work, actually many (it's a female dominated environment), but yeah, a
particular girl. Anybody who's had a Blackberry or knowledge of those phones know they SUUUUUCK when it comes on to battery life and have to be charged quite often. I however have two batteries and charge my phone every night before bed so I don't really need to charge at work. However, I walk with my USB charger, and I suppose she saw me use it before, so late one evening she came to ask me to borrow it. Actually, the line now is "Alwayne, can get likkle charge please?"
The first time she did it was late one evening; work ends at 5 and she came like 4:30, so that's not a long period of time, and of course I never had a problem. I'm kind to people... *initially.
Fast forward to a couple weeks later! At LEAST 3 times a week this girl comin' to me! Why? Say it with me:
"Alwayne, can get likkle charge please?"
A me one know fi charge mi phone a mi yaad?! First it was in the evening, now, she start come inna d mawnin! Of course. My purpose in life is to come to work to let you charge your phone. Gotchya. And you KNOW how these things go--the gospel of blackberry chargers spreads like wildfire. As of yesterday, it's no longer one girl, but two. Mi mad fi jus buy a "work charger" gi dem!
That story of teaching a man to fish instead of giving him a fish ain't no joke!
The second instance was this guy at a basketball court near to where I live. It's about 5mins driving distance, so I usually drive there. Apparently he lives relatively close to where I live, even though I have to pass my yaad to go to his. Out of the goodness of my heart I gave him a ride one Tuesday night. I know that it was a Tuesday because I stopped at Dominoes on the way home to get that special Tuesday XL Pizza deal.
I don't know how mi cudda suh fool fool to come outta the car and lef a stranger in it. I had some silver in there, because at the court, those who play have to make up money to pay to use the lights, but I didn't have to give any that night 'cause they had already paid when I got there, plus I'd paid several times before. Why do I bring up this silver you ask?
Weeeeeeeellll, when I got home, could I find my silver? Not a blowow! I had $70 and di man tief $40! I had fallen in a big pothole, you know, the unexpected ninja type, on the way home, so I thought the coins must have been scattered because of that. I WISH! I never saw my $40 dollars again!
Now I'm sure you might be laughing and saying, "bwoy Alwayne, a jus $40 still" but I'm talking about principle! How you goin' do dat?! Suppose I had left a million in there?! (Clearly I wouldn't be so stupid, but you get the point!)
And then the best part is, of course; HIM BEG RIDE AGAIN!!! If I had the big cojones I woulda seh "No!", and he'd wonder why & think I'm a "fassy". Or maybe he would remember the $40... Who knows. Idk what kinda conscience he's got.
And what's the worst part? If you don't help or be kind to these people, despite them clearly taking you for granted while feeling absolutely no remorse for being the next thing to a blood sucking leech, everybody seh "A meanaz dat man!" when the half of the story has never been told. Maybe that might just be the way to go yaa man, I dunno. I suppose I should probably save myself the trouble and just seh "no" initially. Too bad, I don't have the *cojones!
*COJONES - is a Spanish word for denoting courage when used in the phrase "tener cojones" (equivalent to English "have the balls to") or testicles.
First of all, tell me my pun wasn't clever. You know you like that! Yes, my use of "/" was intentional. We're talking about Bleaching, as in skin bleaching, and you know there's bleaching cream, BUT we're also talking talking about Cream, as in hair cream! Hold the applause, I know, I know, it's a such a simple pun, but its brilliant... Okay, you can applaud a little :)
But seriously, if you missed the #AllAngles special hosted by Dionne Jackson-Miller (@djmillerJA) you neeeeed to see it to get the context of the debate that has ensued since airing (June 19, 2013) on TVJ.
You can watch the special here ------> BLEACHING SPECIAL
Since the airing of the programme, a fierce debate has ensued about Bleaching of the skin, versus Creaming of the hair, as now persons are saying that those who ridicule skin bleaching, need to ridicule women who relax their hair or wear weaves as well, because it's the same thing!
At first, I was like "seriously? Dem really goin' come wid this?" I was having none of it. My initial comment to a post on Facebook that supported the view that bleaching (skin) and creaming (hair) is pretty much the same was this:
"Yeah u chemically changing something, but the reasons for it in some cases are different. Its not always cuz its perceived to look better, sometimes the hair is too hard to manage for some ladies. I see ur view still, but I don't think its the same. Bleaching destroys their skin, relaxing doesn't destroy the hair if cared properly. My two cents. I'm not for or against relaxing still."
It was soooo ironic, but this argument started on Saturday with my cousin, or some form of it, as our fam was talking about natural hair vs processed hair and this cult exodus so many girls are in right now going back to their roots. Who knew Dionne's bleaching special would bring the discussion back?
Anywho, I was greeted by the following tweet later on this morning (Jun 20, 2013) by my friend and blogmate Keneice:
1) Creamed hair is easier to manage for those who can't deal with it being my main one (and not a case where the woman thinks it looks better), or saying 2) "psychological reasons behind each [differ]. Not every black woman thinks natural hair is ugly and therefore it muss cream" I was always met with a counterpoint:
Keneice - "Damage is similar; reasons behind use are similar. For every case there is an exception..few who can't manage nat hair"
The only one I think I didn't truly get a good response for was this:
(Still waiting for a good answer for this from somebody!)
I thought about the whole thing though and I've come up with my conclusion on the whole matter:
EVERYBODY'S A HYPOCRITE. EVERY. LAST. ONE. *whispers* even me. Don't tell nobody!
We all have our open stances to some things, and have our minds closed to others. I don't have a problem with creamed hair, but some women, mostly those from the naturalist cult movement do. But, the same "au naturale" girls use make up, and even dye their hair. Is that natural? This is natural right? Is it really natural? --------------------------------------------------------------------------> What's the rationale for make-up? What's wrong with the normal skin colour over your eyes or on your lips? (Not bashing make-up btw, it looks nice when done right; just don't mess up my shirt when you hug me!) I know someone who died from a cancer that was caused by basically using so much hair dye, its like it became poison to his body. So shouldn't we preach against hair dye too? What about bleaching of hair?
Think about it.
Personally, I don't like bleaching of the skin--I think it makes people look worse than better, but if they think they look better, who cares about what I think? Nobody! Afta a nuh fi mi skin! A nuh me buy it gi dem. They're free to do what they want. I'm known to preach to women to keep their hair long. Why? Because I like long hair! Is something wrong with short hair? No, but it's just my preference. We all have our preferences.
Unlike many, I didn't judge the people on the special who bleached their skin. I laughed. A WHOLE LOT! But I didn't judge them. Didn't agree with their reasoning, and I thought they needed a lot of education. But judging and condemning, I did not. To me, it should be the same reaction to with women with processed hair. These people are owners of their own selves and can do whatever they like, whether we like it or not. It's their own health and their own choices; who are we to point at them? We all have our double standards somewhere. For my personal stance on bleaching, I do cast some blame on Vybz Kartel for how he portrayed bleaching to the masses. That wasn't the kind of public education we needed at all. I know it was happening before him, but you'd be pretty foolish to think he didn't have any impact at all on helping the practice rise to popularity. But, as Monica said last night, she [and others who practice bleaching] "PRETTY PLUS TAX!"
For those who are against the creaming of the hair and are of the view that persons who do it are in the same category as bleachers, that's cool. To each his/her own. I don't agree, but we all think differently.
This comment by someone on Facebook is pretty much the conclusion of the whole matter:
"From what I saw on tv all the bleachers said they were proud of their black skin but is a 'likkle more opportunity' or 'fashion and style' them do it fah.... Tbh [to be honest] most people who relax their hair use a similar justification system, you know 'my hair too hard fi manage' or 'a kyah brush mi have''.... They say they proud of their blackness still enuh but you know.. is just fashion and style. The effects of a relaxer are pretty damaging as well, but you know by now how to not get so damaged by it, just maybe a one and two scalp burrn here and there but ntn too much like your hair falling out or w.e
Anyways its people body fi do w.e with it and they justify their decisions so it make sense to them and it shouldn't matter to anyone else"
Selah.
(Leave your opinions and comments please! Oh, and SHARE! Thanks :)
I finished my courses at Northern Caribbean University (NCU) in December 2011, and graduated the following August 2012. As I have come to learn the hard way, Mass Communication (which I studied) is a FRUSTRATINGLY DIFFICULT field to break into. If yuh neva believe seh links run the world, and you thought merit and your personal achievements would get you around; for the most part--you can forget that! ESPECIALLY FOR MASS COMM! There are exceptions of course, but Mass Comm is a very "link driven" field.
Basically, I have had 3 jobs in the field so far, none lasting more than 5+ months** (WOMP!) with a few odd ones here and there. **Okay, only one lasted that long :/ The others have been temp stuff... including the current one.
*Continuing*
As much as I'd love to tell you that I applied and got through for these jobs, (as glaringly short as they were) on my own merit, I can't. Each one came with me recommended by someone who knew me and what I could do, or with strings being pulled in some way or another. Now this is no knock on me, because I do my work, and damn well too, but it's proving really hard to settle somewhere. It also helps to make things worse that I've sent out so many applications and ain't nobody called me! >:(
Everybody wants experienced persons in this field, and no one is willing to take a guy with only a little over year and a half's cumulative experience since leaving university, despite having worked in television and radio, which both also entailed writing. I've even done photography too!
Alan Magnus - Picture from Television Jamaica's Website
It's the same story all the time when it comes onto getting a permanent job. The same old people in this field who refuse to retire--I love hearing him, but I'm coming for you Alan Magnus!--are the ones getting all the jobs. Wait deh. 42YEARS and 3 months?! And him nuh move?!!!! :O :O :O
WOOOOW. ANYWAY, these people just leave one job and jump into another, leaving us fresh folk on the outside looking in, lamenting about how doomed the job situations in Jamaica are. But, I'm cool though, *42years... my God!* I'm doing my best wherever I go. Eventually I'll settle somewhere.. hopefully... Maybe :s Kinda like Alan.
LOOOL (See video--completely unrelated, but funny! You'll see why it's there)
Maybe, or I should say hopefully, I'll unlock my hidden entrepreneurial potential and go start a business! We'll see which one comes first, or maybe I'll do both. That's a whole lotta maybes *facepalm*
So... I ask the question, what does all I've written above make me? Basically, if you simplify it down to the root;
I'm a NOBODY!
BUT! Because in my mind I AM somebody, or you could say I'm planning to be somebody and I'm not satisfied to settle as a nobody, it doesn't bother me. I'm doing my best to get up the societal ladder. Soon I'll be a "Bigbody"--meetings, signing cheques, fitted clothes.... YEEEEEAAAAAH lol.
In the meantime, lemme tell you a little about my nobodiness to a couple somebodies. Break out your tissue folks, it's gonna get all misty in here *sniffle* (mek sure you know the ones on the safe list though!)
Time at a Particular Govt Office
Thanks to the kindness of my sister from other parents, and a dire need for someone to do part of the work she normally would while being away, I got a 6 week stint at a particular government office doing a little Public Relations work, which was mostly photography. If you know the name of that government minister, good for you, but, for those who don't know, I'll resist from calling his name. It does rhyme with "Merick" though...
One of my pics from Trelawny
For the 5 weeks of following this minister around all over Kingston and St Andrew--and as FAAAR as
Trelawny--all now di man nuh have a clue as to who mi be, DESPITE a formal introduction. (And if you're wondering how come I said 6 weeks above and 5 just now, I had to leave before the 6th to start working where I am now). If that man heard my name everyday, he would probably still ask who I am -__-
TWICE he called me "our [the Ministry's] JIS man." Not once; but TWO TIMES!!! Even when the actual JIS was there, he couldn't differentiate! It was never important for him to ask me what was my name, weh mi come from, or why I was there and not my study-left sister.
"Study-left": past tense of "study leave"--as in she did gone aredi. Not a real phrase? Well I'm making it so now! Not cuz I'm not Dr. Herbert Thompson; I can make up words too! (He made the word "nowness" around 2006; said its a noun... Meh)
Even though she's been there for like 2years, even fi har name him nuh memba. I guess when you reach certain levels in society, you don't have to remember anybody, since everybody knows you. That, or he's old. I won't even tell y'all the story how he woke up 8:30 for a 9 am press conference and arrived almost 10... Nope, cyaa do dat :)
The worst experience however, was on a tour of the Shipping Association of Jamaica facilities, as well as the Kingston Container Terminal (KCT) and the Kingston Wharves. That day, I will NEVER forget.
*Coincidentally, this was the same day the story I wouldn't tell you about happened*
I was initially supposed to travel to our location with one of Minister's advisors; however, due to a mix up at the Govt office's HQ, I ended up driving. By the end of the day, I realized all things really do work together for good to them that love God though. I'll get to that in a while.
At the SAJ office there was a meeting, followed by a tour. I followed everyone around, snapping rapidly as a good PR person ought to do, making sure I missed nothing. Following this tour, we went on the tour of KCT. All my walking and snap-snap-snapping really worked up an appetite, and all the sitting and looking (while in a bus for part of the time) apparently got all the officials, big shots and Minister hungry too.
Tour Guide on the tour of KCT
We were taken to a designated room where some amazing looking food was lavishly laid out. Not only did it look good, but it did smell good too, and the black hole that is my stomach starting taking in the air in big gulps, in anticipation of what was to come. Or so I thought.
I watched as everybody was seated, by order of importance: big shots with big shots, medium shots with medium shots, and the smaller "pi-pies" with each other. Guess who neva get no seat?
As I said earlier, it was a good thing I drove, or else I would've had to stay and wait on everyone to eat and then resume the second leg of the tour and wait until they were ready to leave. Orrr, maybe in true slave fashion I would eat after everyone else left. Who knows?
I was informed later on by my boss (who was always very nice to me) that I was supposed to have gotten food. Oh well.It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.
All those people will eventually get old and need someone to take care of them. For their sakes I hope it won't be like how they treated people like me who haven't achieved social status as yet. Imagine a former Minister of Government's caregiver waking up late, getting to him/her late, and not giving him his food on time, or any food at all. Tragic innit?
No Publishing if You're Not Important.
My last grouse about being a nobody, has to do with the local Newspapers not publishing my stuff.
Now if you know me, or know of me, you know I've writtenquite a fewlettersto the editor. Now I'm not tryna be selfish, and I surely don't think I'm better than people, but I believe good writing should be published and published devoid of who you are. I know lots of people send letters daily, but I also know when I write something really good. I notice politicians and prominent people's letters get published a.s.a.p. in BOTH major papers with great dispatch. I'm just saying though, it feels like my stuff aren't getting published anymore because the editors may be tired of me, or because they think they've seen my name often enough and have had enough. Seems like even the rogue email I created, they somehow know is me, 'cause the 3 letters sent from it so far have been denied :/
Idk why they told me to keep writing and they know they were gonna do this to me. I promise you. I haven't OD'ed with submissions! Bet if I was important they wouldn't do me that, or I would have a column by now... *sigh*
I love writing, and have gone as far as writing the editors about writing for the papers. The answers? No vacancy for me. I've also sent pieces I've written that weren't letters that they say they would read and give me feedback but they never did. Atleast I've gotten somewhere with it thanks to persevering. I've always wanted to be a guest columnist, as I've been inspired by the likes of Dr. Orville Taylor, Din Duggan, and Gordon Robinson to name a few, but I guess the thinking is that nobody wants to hear from a 20 something year old guy who hasn't done anything with his life as yet. Nothing he writes is that interesting, even if it really is. Sometimes what the established guys write aren't that interesting either. But they've "made it" so they can write what they want.
I guess it's just the system. I HATE IT.
Nobody wants to give up-and-comers a chance. Well, that means only one thing. I have to make them remember me. Any little opportunity I get, I will be the best and I will do my best. Until then, I will never settle for being I nobody. I am already somebody. All these "other bodies" just don't know it yet.
Election Coverage 2011
Job 14:14 - "...all the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come." (KJV)
I swear, the newspaper opinion editors in Jamaica hate me now. That MUST be it.
I mean...I guess it's not fair for everything I write to be published at the expense of other writers, since I've (so far) had 10 published letters--7 Gleaner and 3 Observer. But I mean, I think I'm a good writer and I usually write sense. Why is it that my stuff can't get published anymore? Good writing is good writing, doesn't matter by who, and by George I think it oughta get out there!
Anyway, since this is my little spot, I'll publish what I can publish here, hopefully the right people will see it and pass the messages along.
Below is the most recent in what I suspect will become a series of unpublished letters. *Sigh* Like Peter Bunting, I want some Divine Intervention for publishing!
"I write this
in response to an article written by Orville Taylor in the Sunday Gleaner (May
26, 2013) entitiled, “What the IMF? Devaluation Again!”
I wish I
could shake his hand, once for the clever pun (now popular thanks to the KSACMayor) and twice for his sound and data laden analysis of the crisis our
“little isle in the sun” finds itself in once more.
Photo Courtesy of Clovis Toons/Jamaica Observer
I’m not surprised,
that as soon as the IMF taskmasters said our dollar is overvalued, it has
started inching back to the $100 benchmark, since stabilizing somewhat and coming
down from that peak only a few months ago. It appears as if the IMF and our
country has a relationship that if the Fund says “Jump!” our financial
technocrats in government quickly ask “How high?” without even a passing
thought.
IMF is just like other businesses
In my view,
the IMF is simply doing to us, what most if not all businesses do; seeking ways in
which it can improve itself and make more money, unfortunately, at the peril of
other businesses or individuals. As Dr. Taylor clearly outlines, there is no
direct correlation to Jamaica doing better economically with the depreciation
of our dollar. Obviously it has gotten worse!
1990s
One Jamaican Patty
One US Dollar
= It almost
seems as if the price of patties and the exchange rate are related. I remember
as a boy in the 90’s when the exchange rate was about $30JMD - $1USD and that
could buy a patty.
2013
= Now, since the depreciation of our dollar, $1USD can’t even
buy a patty anymore! Exactly how will the depreciation help us? Don’t worry…
I’ll wait…
PRECISELY.
It won’t. In my opinion, the IMF is only scheming how it will make more money.
If our dollar depreciates, the more money we will have to fork over in the
future when re-payment of the loan becomes due." We can't let them do this to the patties!!! Well... to the people, but saying that just shows how important patties are! They're probably the easiest fast food to buy without having to reach too far into our pockets. If that continues to change and gets more expensive, how would we cope? :'( I seriously think we should listen to former Prime Minister Edward Seaga's suggestion. We ought to do what's best for us; for Jamaica, and NOT what is in the best interest of the IMF! Do it for the children Minister Phillips. And don't forget the patties :)
Today a gentleman came to drop off a resume. He had just gotten an envelope to enclose the document. He asked me very respectfully to whom he should address the letter. I told him the Human Resource Department. My heart sank when I saw him transcribe:
"Human Resorce Manadgement"
I corrected the "Resource" but I never had the heart to say anything more as I watched him misspell 'management'. I told him to write his name at the top of the envelope. My heart sank again as he wrote it above the "Human Resource Manadgement", as if it was addressed to him, instead of in the top right corner.
Then, the imaginary anvil you always saw in Tom & Jerry or Sylvester & Tweety fell on me. After handing me the letter he leaned forward and said: "Mi boss mi nuh really know yuh still, but mi a beg yuh fi jus help me out. Mi a come from Bull Bay and mi need a work bad bad. Mi need fi tek care a mi wife an' mi daughta, jus see wah yuh can do fi mi." I nodded, but it felt like a lie, because I knew:
1. I'm a temp--I've got very little to no say in matters outside of the tasks I'm assigned.
2. It would only go in the box with the rest of mail to be circulated in the building with no special recommendation, and I receive several emails daily with resumes and applications that I simply forward to Human Resource. He asked me to look over his resume if it was okay, and I did. He had training as a welder, but I had no clue if we needed any of those here.
The more I heard, my heart sank lower and lower...
He went on to add: "a walk mi aguh walk off mi shoes todeh a drop off resume, cause a mi laas fare mi tek an' come from Bull Bay." Cue heart sink #3.
I felt sooooo bad, not only because the man's situation was so dire and desperate, but also because here I was, only slightly better off than he. I wish I could've done something. But alas, I don't wield that kind of power yet. What was I to do? Go upstairs and share his story? I didn't even know his name. What would've happened if I did? I'd probably be given a good once over and ignored; after all, is not like I knew the man to recommend him personally.
The job situation is really looking hopeless in Jamaica. So many of my friends are unemployed, but at least they aren't married, with families and those kinds of situations, and some still live at home.
I know about having my resume aimlessly passed around, bearing no fruit, and trust me; it nuh feel nice.
Yes, I'm a temp right now, but I'm soooo thankful. It helps that I still live with my family, because otherwise I couldn't survive... That and I'm really not trying to pay rent when I can just give my parents a little support and live (relatively) free!
There are MANY more people like that man who came to me today. I only hope that soon I may be in a position to help.
